Strings
by KatrinaEagle
Summary: To Gokudera, the piano was just about as poisoned as his sister's cooking. But as he creates explosions to drown out the sound in his head, the music continues to haunt him.  slight 5927  oneshot  HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOKUDERA!  Fixed incorrect story placement


**A/N: **There is seriously too little 5927 fics out there. Um, as always, I manage to get this out _late_. Happy (belated) birthday, Gokudera! And another birthday wish to _Phyllis_ for being an awesome friend! **A/N end**

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**Strings**

_A 5927 fanfic (one-shot)_

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Ever since learning of Gokudera's past, Tsuna had been unknowingly paying extra attention to his Storm Guardian's behavior. Now, Gokudera is not stupid, and of course he notices how his boss's eyes would occasionally stray onto him, concerned and brows furrowed. No matter how much it annoyed him, he keeps silent (he couldn't possibly yell at the Tenth, could he?) and ignores the worried looks.

There is nothing to be worried about. Really. His dynamites are well stocked. He hasn't blown anyone up (the annoying cow does not count). He has been skillfully avoiding Bianchi (and therefore hasn't fainted recently, not that he faints on a regular basis). Try as he might, he couldn't pinpoint what the Tenth could _possibly_ find worrisome about him, which caused him to become more irritable. Which, of course, worried Tsuna even more.

* * *

"Hey," Tsuna touches Yamamoto lightly on the elbow (his shoulder was slightly out of reach. Slightly.) to catch his attention.

"Hmm? What's up, Tsuna?" the taller teen asks, his warm, brown eyes straying downwards to the smaller boy.

"Have you noticed that Gokudera's been acting weird lately?"

"Isn't he always?" Yamamoto laughs at his own joke.

"No," Tsuna sighs with slight impatience, "I mean weirder than usual."

Yamamoto cocks his head to one side, his easy grin slipping off his face.

"Yes," he says finally.

* * *

Sometimes he hates walking the Tenth home. Oh, no, he loves the Tenth, that's for sure, but occasionally he just wishes that the Sawada residence wasn't where it _was_.

He concentrates on Tsuna's voice as they pass by the wicked- _wicked_ house on his left. But even as he presses a palm to his ear (under pretense of brushing his hair back), his brain registers the faint strain of familiar tinkling. A 'B flat' , he notes absently. The piano is out of tune. He feels his vision shake and sees shadows of a white grand piano slowly seeps into his vision. So he pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it with his cigarette, and throws it over his shoulder.

The explosion drowns out all other sounds. He focuses on the deafening boom, and forgets what the 'B flat' sounds like. He imprints the flash of bright light onto his eyes and trusts the smoke to chase away the lingering shadows of his past.

Tsuna is thrown a short distance away, panicking at his Storm Guardian's sudden attack. Even with his ears ringing, Gokudera is suddenly guilty for scaring the Tenth like that, so he hastily picks Tsuna off the ground and apologizes profusely. Tsuna is properly flustered, waving Gokudera's apologies away. He pulls on his Storm Guardian's many chains, prompting him to continue walking. Gokudera shuts up, and allows himself to be led away.

* * *

The next day Gokudera puts up bars and steel walls around his mind. Tsuna eyes him suspiciously, but leaves the topic untouched. This time, he is prepared. This time, he will walk the Tenth home with utmost professionalism. This time, he- he hears something else.

He is not prepared for it.

"Gokudera-kun?"

And he finds himself standing still, facing the window on the upper floor of the evil house he had always hated, listening intently, staring hard and wondering _why_. He thinks of something he hadn't thought of in a long, long time.

He thinks of music.

"No, it's nothing, Tenth. I'm sorry, let's go."

* * *

Mama is slightly shocked.

"Tsu-kun? Why would you-"

"Please Mama! I just really, really wanna learn!"

"Oh, alright dear. I'm so glad! I'll want to hear you play, sometime!"

Tsuna is out the door before mama finishes her sentences.

* * *

Gokudera notices the way Tsuna's hand shake. His left shoulder is still and his right hand is always massaging his obviously sore neck. Gokudera offers a massage and Tsuna, after half a minute, said shyly, "If you don't mind..." which surprises them both. So Gokudera massages the Tenth's tense shoulders until the muscles relax and then continues to work on his arms. Only then does he notice that Tsuna's fingers are slightly bruised, a dark patch spreading across his fingertips.

Gokudera wonders if the Tenth is hurting himself.

* * *

He tries to forget his birthday, because he really does not want to remember his mother. Of course, it's not because he has this irrational hatred of her, but more like he'd rather not think about it.

Yet, like everything you try to forget, it just becomes even more tightly lodged in your brain.

Despite popular belief (the baseball idiot and turf head _insists_ on treating him like a princess), he does not have a mental breakdown whenever the topic is mentioned. Sure, he wouldn't be _overjoyed and prance around like My fucking Little Pony_, but no, no mental breakdown, sorry. He just gets up and leaves, because he can't stand how other people's eyes would flicker to him guiltily, like what they said would bother him. Just because he'd lost his mother doesn't mean _they_ can't talk about _their_ mothers. He'd been living with it for the better part of his life, he should be used to it by now. But they still look at him with those eyes, fearful he'll become upset and blow up, and he'll get frustrated because they're _babying_ him, so he just leaves.

He's not fragile.

* * *

Tsuna wants to scream and hit something. Instead, he throws himself into his bed and yells into his pillow. He does nothing to stop the tears.

Reborn opens one eye lazily and says nonchalantly, "The frustration is driving you crazy, isn't it?"

Tsuna nods, still trying to suffocate himself with his pillow.

Reborn walks over, pats his head, and leaves through the window.

Tsuna falls asleep soon after.

* * *

Tsuna's fingers are so bruised he winces at every touch. Gokudera offers to carry him to school, but ended up carrying only his bag.

Tsuna allows it because Gokudera would never shut up if he didn't, and also because he had lost all strength in his arms. He smiles at Gokudera to show his appreciation, and Gokudera smiles (a nice, small smile. He looks really good when he isn't always scowling or frowning or blowing people up, Tsuna thinks.) back at him, and they walk on.

* * *

Gokudera could not help but question why the Tenth was hurting himself. Tsuna sighs and tells Gokudera to ignore it for the time being, and be patient, because he'll know soon. Gokudera is so moved by Tsuna's (debatable) extensive training to take down other rival mafia families and proceeds to smother Tsuna in big flouncy words of praise.

Yamamoto chuckles, although secretly he's also curious as to Tsuna's exhaustion, sore muscles and bruised fingers. He doesn't ask, though, and just continues to copy of set of notes for him.

* * *

It's a breezy Thursday morning and Tsuna wakes up to the sound of his phone ringing. He answers it groggily, only to be greeted with a cheerful shout of "Good morning, Tenth!". Tsuna groans quietly.

"Why are you calling, Gokudera-kun? You usually just wait outside..."

"You have 30 minutes until school starts, Tenth!"

"-WHAT!"

"Do your best, Tenth! I believe in you!"

Tsuna hangs up on Gokudera, exasperated.

Then he remembers it's Gokudera's birthday today and he should probably treat him better. So he texts him a _'Thank you for the wake up call.'_ and it doesn't take long for Gokudera to reply, _'Anything for you, Tenth.'_

* * *

They make it into school just narrowly avoiding being bitten to death. Tsuna is glad that Gokudera is his usual jubilant self, and not depressingly angry like he'd been dreading. Rumors tend to be the same when Gokudera is concerned. He'd half been expecting him to not show up at all.

Tsuna smiles at Gokudera and thinks that maybe it'd be a good day today.

* * *

Gokudera notices that people are either staring curiously at him, or running away when they see him. He's torn between being pissed and being greatly amused.

He decided to be amused, because the Tenth doesn't like it when he gets angry.

Yamamoto is already in class at his seat, rapidly copying off somebody else's homework. Apparently he had forgotten to do it, _again_.

"Good morning, Gokudera, Tsuna." he says distractedly. "Happy birthday," he nods in the general direction of the (now greatly amused) teen.

"Hn." Gokudera says. "Baseball-idiot."

Tsuna cracks a wide smile, and Gokudera just rolls his eyes, deciding that he enjoys giving other forgettable people in class heart attacks, just because he can.

* * *

Some girls, encouraged by the lack of bombing and general pissed-off-ness, brought out small cakes and small cleavages. Gokudera accepts the cakes and ignores the cleavages. He passes the cakes over to Yamamoto for poison-checking (and also to hopefully cause immediate death to a baseball idiot, not that he'd ever tell) before sharing them with the Tenth. Tsuna enjoys them immensely, because he likes cakes, and also because Gokudera is sitting by his side, eating it peacefully.

This, Tsuna thinks, is how life should be.

* * *

Gokudera passes the school day in an unusually bright mood, which is a rather eye-opening experience for him. He never knew so many people standing dumb-founded in the hallways could cause so much _damage_. He finds this all very entertaining.

Tsuna, on the other hand, was torn between wishing that time could speed up and dreading the ring of the bell. He wonders if he'll have a heart attack, because the rate of his heart is pounding doesn't sound healthy.

It isn't right for him to be so nervous, is it?

* * *

The walk back to Tsuna's house is filled with awkward silences and a very distracted Tsuna. Gokudera, carrying the Tenth's bag, had saved him for three oncoming cars, a lorry and a girl zooming around recklessly on her bike. But then again, he usually does that, so Gokudera doesn't think too much about it, expect for cursing at the girl on the bike.

Tsuna forgets to tell Gokudera off for cursing.

Gokudera notices this, and falls silent automatically, wondering if he had pushed the Tenth to his limit of patience.

Then they pass the house. Gokudera peers at the upper window, an action not unnoticed by Tsuna. But the house is silent.

They walk on.

* * *

The atmosphere is something Gokudera hardly experiences around the Tenth. Tense. It's as though something _big_ is right around the corner and he has no idea _what_. Tsuna is silent, fidgety and looks about to cry. No, he looks like a man- _boy_- who had put everything that was ever important to him at stake in one huge gamble for something he isn't sure of obtaining. Grim.

Gokudera is now completely confused. There wasn't any large or suspicious rumors in the mafia world, at least, not connecting to the Vongola, anyway. Nobody they know is dying of questionable incurable diseases. There was nothing to be grim about.

Tsuna gets up from his place at the low table and rummages for something under his bed, still not saying anything. Gokudera just stares.

And then he pulls something out, a rather large rectangular case in black fabric which looks suspiciously like a-

"Is that a violin case?" Gokuders blurts out, confusion and awe washing over him.

Tsuna grins shyly. "Yeah. It is. I mean, um. Well, it's your birthday and I just- you know, I thought you liked the violin and so I went and learned a bit and since it's your birthday, you know, I decided to learn something for you and- and because you don't like the piano so-" his awkward stumbling prompts Gokudera to chuckle.

"Tenth, you're amazing! Thank you, thank you, but there really isn't any need to, Tenth, I mean, to push yourself that hard-"

Tsuna waves Gokudera off, and the room is silent once more, waiting, expecting.

"Um, this might suck a bit..." Tsuna trails off, looking at the floor. He grips the violin and bow tightly in his hands.

Gokudera flashes him a big smile. "Anything you do is awesome, Tenth!" He curls his legs into himself, and looks admiringly at him.

Tsuna bites his lip and lifts the violin onto his shoulder.

* * *

The music is much different from the piano, Gokudera thinks. The violin always sounds as though there is something to be sad about. As though it's always mourning. As though the world is left cold. And there above all that there is a small shred of hope. Of spring when it's winter. Of another chance. Of leaving remorse behind.

Gokudera loves it.

And Tsuna knows that.

* * *

They share a quiet moment with each other, the last notes still lingering in the air.

"Happy birthday," Tsuna says simply, looking at the other boy.

Gokudera smiles. One out of pure happiness.

"Thank you." he says, "Thank you, Tsuna."

Tsuna walks over to hug him around the waist and buries his smile into Gokudera's shirt.

* * *

Gokudera still doesn't play the piano, but instead will bug Tsuna to play the violin for him. Tsuna occasionally kicks him in the head when Gokudera gets too annoying.

He doesn't mind that people now aren't afraid of him anymore, even though he still keeps his dynamites by his side.

He hasn't lost his scowl either, but that's okay, because he wouldn't be Gokudera without the frowny face. Tsuna likes to tease his frowny face and Yamamoto will laugh together with Tsuna. Gokudera will just 'hrmph' and scowl the other way.

His thoughts of his mother isn't always revolving around the bitterness and disappointment of missing her anymore, because he remembers how clear his mother's voice is, how well she sings and how gentle she is.

He remembers her like how an old man remembers youth.

But he doesn't think of her that much now.

He thinks of strings and brunettes. He thinks of music.

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OHMYGOD. I AM SO LATE FOR THIS. DD: I'm so sorry. I HAD wanted to write another one-shot for 5927 day, but considering how long it took me to write this, I don't think I can!

Please review! Hopefully I'll have time to write that fic, do keep an eye out!

Ideas are floating around in my head like _crazy_. By the way, if my style changed somewhere in the middle, it's because the last bit was written just like that. The front bit was the part I agonized over, reading and rewriting and changing bits. I was rushing, see? So the last bit is considered un-proofread. I apologize.

Review!

14/9/10: Added some missing page breaks, fixed some typos and begs for reviews.

Please, people. 114 hits, 3 favorites, and only one review. I FEEL SAD.


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